


When it All Comes Crashing

by mizufallsfromkumo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Insecurity, Lance (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Mental Link, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, Pain, Romantic Soulmates, Sad Shiro (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 04:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizufallsfromkumo/pseuds/mizufallsfromkumo
Summary: Lance sucked in a deep breath as stared at the door before him.Room 110.A room that Lance never once found to be scary or intimidating.It was just an ordinary room, Lance had helped Allura set up for guests of the inn, or try to fix the temperamental thermostat with Coran.  He knew it was just an ordinary room like the rest of the rooms and suites in theLion’s Castle Hotel.But the room didn’t usually house his soulmate.The soulmate heleft.





	When it All Comes Crashing

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the Soulmate AU I had not to long ago. It steams from another idea for another fandom I had a long long time ago but never published. Bascially, Soulmates slowly form a mental bond that lets to the realization of them being soulmates. And they sort of need regular contact between each other, or they start to feel pain. Most soulmates work out, but there is a small percentage that don't...so...yeah.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this angst.

“I lied, Allura.” Lance stated weakly when he heard her enter.

He knew it was her by the way she entered his room. She always entered the same way every time. The twist of her master key being the only warning that she was entering. No matter how softly or slowly she turned it, it always made enough noise for Lance to hear, before she slid in through the smallest open she can manage.

Then there was a gentle click of her closing the door.

Followed by the jingles and clanks of her hotel keys on small dining table.

And not too much longer, Lance feels her weight sink into the right side of his bed. The bed spring protesting a bit as she also used the sound to hide her soft sign. Then he feels her fingers lightly brushing though his hair.

Both ignore the pained whimper that escaped Lance.

“You lied?” She asked with a gentle hum.

Sounding both like she knew what he meant, yet at the same didn’t. 

And with what bits she knows about Lance’s past before he washed up a broken mess at her little family inn, it is a true statement. She knew things, but at the same time she didn’t. Allura might also knew him well enough to know when he is lying, but she never does press for the truth if Lance tells her to stop.

Lance hummed slightly as he focused on the feeling of her fingers petting his hair lightly. Focusing on the feels of her nails brushing his scalp. Using it as best he can to ignore everything that is scream and craving, and  _ hurting _ inside him. For now he just wanted to float in the quiet and stillness.

Linger in the ease of his lies a little longer.

“You lied about what, Lance?” Allura asked gently after long moment.

“A handful of things.” Lance started slowly as he rolled at bit on his side. Grimacing a little, but not enough to really raise Allura’s concerns. “But mostly about my soulmate. About Shiro.” He paused as he watched Allura nod encouragingly. “He didn’t leave me or cut me out... _ I  _ did. I  _ left _ him.”

Allura blinked at him for a moment. 

Looking rather surprised by the sudden truth. 

Yet seeming to find come clarity to things that seemed puzzling in the past. Like why Lance had been so resit to giving her a name or any sort of description she could search with. Or the oddity of events that had transpired since Shiro arrived and  _ saw _ Lance in the inn’s restaurant earlier that week. And why Shiro was so keen to be around Lance to speak with him.

“You...left...why?” She asked gentle after a moment.

Lance shrugged weakly. Again focusing on the feeling of her finger for some resolve it felt like, before he answered her question. After all it had been so long, he half let himself forget why he left. Just enough so the truth of it stopped hurting so much.

But he still remembered.

It was one thing that stopped him from reaching out.

“I wasn’t good enough for him, Lura.” Lance stated when he felt Allura’s figures stop. Beating her to asking again, and demanding more of an answer from him. “Shiro was going places, and I... _ wasn’t _ . I was holding him back. He couldn’t get things he wanted because of me, and just...I didn’t deserve him as a soulmate.” Lance continued in a mix of pain and emotion. Curling into his bedding more and trying to hide his forming tears from Allura. As another wave of pain rolled over him.

The ache of his body craving his soulmate bursting. Both from Shiro being so close, and his attempts to reach out to Lance. Calling out to Lance in effort to get... _ something _ from him, while he can. 

More so now because of the emotion dip Lance’s state of mind of staking.

_ Talk to me. Please, Lance. Tell me, please, just tell me. _

Over and over again in Lance’s head.

And God, does Lance want to cave in.

But it had been so long, and he feared so much…

“Lance--”

“I wanted what was best for him, I loved him and his happiness more than my own. And his life would be better without me in it....so I left.” Lance sobbed out wildly at the admission. “If you love something, you let it go, right?” He added with a sick wet laugh. “I did just that, and I left with no warning, no heads up. Just packed a bag and disappeared so he could soar, cause it was cleaner. He couldn’t talk me out of it. And here we are.”

Lance sobbed violently. 

From the pain of his body, his emotions, and Shiro slamming everything he can against the bond. Trying to get in, clawing and scratching to ease, to apologize, to comfort. To take Lance in close and not care about the past. 

Begging and pleading to just  _ let him in _ .

It’s all so much.

No amount of Allura running her fingers through his hair will help.

But Lance can feel her hand on his shoulder, and her arm around his back. Her long hair tickles the back of Lance’s neck, and the little bit of exposed skin of his arms. Her gentle shushes are close to Lance’s ear. All of her weight lightly pressed into his side.

Like it usually was when she tried to help Lance ride out the pain.

Posed to be ready to reach for the phone or call for Coran if it got too bad.

Lance doesn’t care though.

He just curled up onto himself on the bed. 

Sobs racking his body harshly. 

Like they had when he first left. When Shiro realized Lance was gone...that he left, and the pain was... _ worse _ as he fought every fiber not to turn around. Fought every urge and regret with the promise Shiro would have a better life awaiting him if Lance stayed quiet and unresponsive through the bond.

Every part of him just hated how right  _ they _ were.

Lance had weighted Shiro down.

He was doing so much better without Lance. Already Vice President of his department in the span of... _ five _ years or so. Projected be head of the new division he was there to scoop out land for in the next coming year. 

And his life would have been a dream and a shot to the stars. 

If he just never meet Lance.

But he did meet Lance…

And discovered they were soulmates.

And they were right.

They were  _ right. _

They  _ were right. _

_ They were right. _

“Who was right?” Allura’s voice suddenly asked.

It jarred Lance from his thoughts violently. Honestly, he didn’t realize he had been talking out loud. But it doesn’t surprise him, sometimes in pain, stuff just comes out. He shrugged weakly in response to it. 

However, he knew Allura had already more than hooked onto it.

The bed shifted a bit as she moved to sit up. “Lance,  _ who  _ was right?” 

“People,” Lance spat out. Hoping his vagueness would discourage more questions. He didn’t want Allura to have more reasons to dislike Shiro. “All sorts of different people, that don’t matter. I was the one that left my  _ soulmate _ .”

That was always the thing that stuck with him.

He could half remember a time when the thoughts and doubts weren’t his. Where he was Shiro’s soulmate, someone made for him specifically, and that just made so much sense. But he was also half convinced they always had been his thoughts and doubts. They had always been there, buried under the bliss of  _ everything _ , and he just found other people saying it.

But it didn’t matter.

Lance had still left Shiro.

Left him when he was away at work. And with so little to remember him by.

Because Lance knew Shiro would have talked him out of it all, with so little effort, and Lance was a coward. Shiro would have seen though any lie Lance tried to make up to slip away before never returning. And Lance had thought, having Shiro quit him cold-turkey would make things easier. Would make it faster so he could move on.

Only there isn’t  _ really _ a chance of getting over a soulmate.

There was only pain it seemed.

Pain and confusion.

And Lance left Shiro in the cold with both of them.

“I  _ left _ him.” Lance blurt out through the sobs. “Oh god, I left him all alone.”

“Shhh, I know.” Allura eased lightly in his ear. 

Thankfully she had gone back to trying to comfort him and ease the pain.

“And I  _ lied _ about it to everyone!”

“Yes, you did.” Allura started in a smooth, but tough way. 

Okay, maybe she hadn’t completely gone back to comfort him. 

Allura seat by up again, but her fingers are soft and gentle, so she’s not  _ mad _ at Lance. Or at least not like he always thought she would be. She wasn’t getting up off the bed and leaving his suite in a huff to suffer by himself. Rather she was staying by his side, still doing all the things she knew worked to ease him along. And maybe it was because she had seen Lance suffer so long, or she was just  _ that _ good of a friend to get Lance a benefit of the doubt.

Lance really didn’t care.

“Why did you lie to us?” Allura asked in a light question tone. 

“Because, I’m a horrible person.” Lance sniffled out miserably.

“Lance.” Allura warned in return.

Her accent making it sound more pointed and sharp.

She jabbed at his side playfully. Lance couldn’t really feel it under the pain of well... _ everything _ . But his body jolts into rolling on his side from the feeling with a small grunt. It’s then that Lance could see his friend smiling over her. A weird mix of concern and curiosity in her pointed expression.

Something that told him she felt his earlier statement was reasonably debatable.

Which for some reason made him feel better.

Not great.

But better.

“I don’t know.” Lance admitted after a moment of staring. It came out shakely, but he was still very much something of a crying mess, so... “Or maybe I just didn’t want to think about it. But when I came here, I was a messy broken shell, who only stopped because my car did. And Coran, Hunk, and you were just the first people that were concerned about me. And when...well I collapsed and you guys learned why…

“I think I just didn’t want you guys to abandon me.” Lance admitted with a heavy sigh. “Why feel bad for someone that very clearly brought all this pain and crap on themselves. I was drifting so bad back then...if you guys turned your back, well…” Lance let out a heavy sigh, and half a breath of a laugh. “You know what happened that first year.”

Allura nodded somberly for at the words.

It was after all, why she still the key to Lance’s suite on her key ring. Why she came in so willy nilly sometimes. Why she, Hunk, and Coran watch him shred every prescription and flush every pill when the doctors give him the wrong thing.

“Yeah…” Lance continued heavily after a moment. His emotions were starting to settle, as was Shiro in the bond. The other was still reaching, searching, and begging, but he was no long ramming at Lance’s mind. “And maybe, it was because I need someone to tell me not to go back. To stop me from screwing things up.”

Allura hummed beside him.

Lance watched as she pulled away from him as he visibly calmed. She bent a leg to her chest as she leaned forward to rest her cheek on her knee. Blue eyes still glued to him as she watched him.

Like she usually did when they talked and she was seeming to think of something.

Though as of late it had rarely about anything as serious as the conversation they were having. More stuff along the lines of if they should updated bedspreads, or if they should maybe expand the restaurant. 

“I doubt you would have done that.” Allura stated simply.

Lance scoffed. 

Ignoring the pain that briefly coursed through him. Almost like his body knew it was half a lie. Though Lance knew it would only fix the pain of separation...not  _ everything  _ else.

Allura lifted her head at the sound. “I mean it, Lance.” She stated firmly. “Give yourself some credit. You’re a wonderful person, everyone who knows you basically adores you. And a large part of it has nothing to do with pity for your situation.”

“I lied about my situation though.” Lance counted knowingly.

“True, but you also just admitted to do so out of fear.” Allura returned as a counter argument. “You didn’t want to be alone, and you felt you needed a support system to stop you from doing something dumb. Which, news flash, you still did, but…” She paused for a moment, glancing away from Lance for a moment. Searching for the right words as she glanced around Lance’s suite. 

He followed the track of her eyes. From his pillow on the right side of his bed that he never used, because well that was always Shiro’s. To his nightstand that had framed pictures of his family, who he hadn’t seen in years. Always scared Shiro would just show up one day looking for him, or his family would tattle on him to the other. So Lance kept to vague contact, that was enough for them to know he was okay, but little else. Then to the wind chimes handing in the corner, the very same ones that sounded the morning Lance and Shiro realized they were soulmates.

Before her eyes turned back to Lance.

“I know you don’t do anything unless you feel like you have a good reason to do so.” She said with a heavy sigh. “And you always act with the best intentions.” She reached out to place a soft hand on Lance’s shoulder. Before she leaned down to place a small kiss on Lance’s temple. “I don’t think you leaving your soulmate and lying to us about it is any different.”

Lance didn’t say anything in turn. 

Rather took to trying to duck out of her gaze. Or stare at the wall.

Allura hummed softly at him. In the knowing sort of way she always did when she reached the limits of Lance talking to her, or she was leaving Lance with something to think about. Running her fingers through Lance’s hair one last time, she peeked into Lance’s eyeline. 

Silently checking that he would be okay enough for her to leave.

Honestly the pain was starting to subside.

It had been since Shiro stopped trying to do everything he could through the bond to get  _ something _ from Lance. Something that has also stopped as Lance had come down from his emotional roller coaster. Honestly, it didn’t feel like jump to assume Shiro was reacting to feeling a dark shift in Lance’s mood through the bond. Because it had started to strength from their sudden renewal of contact. 

And maybe Lance’s guards were down too.

Currently, he could feel Shiro through the bond, being still. Just sort of holding out a part of himself for the bond. Like a mental hand in the tube that is their bond. Waiting for Lance to reach out to take hold of it, yet giving him no pressure to do so.

Like they use to do when Shiro went away on business trips.

Just lying in separate beds, miles apart, holding mental hands like they were right next to each other.

He wanted so bad to reach out and do the same. 

Take Shiro’s mental hand and feel the warmth of him. Hold it tight and never let go again. Hell he wants to fall into Shiro’s everything, apologize for everything until the end of time, and promise never to leave. Or even just sent out like a finger to touch Shiro and test the waters of how the other would reach. 

But Lance was so afraid.

One that Shiro will be mad and sharp, grab on and demand like he rightfully should. Or that he’ll be to dumbly and brightly happy than Lance actually deserves, act like nothing ever happened. Both reactions Lance knew he couldn’t take.

So he doesn’t do anything about it.

Lance looked at Allura and gave her a small nod.

He watched as she gave him a small smile before crawling off his bed. Carefully she smoothed her clothes back into place. Hovering in a way that did not seem like hovering as she checked to make sure. Shoving her white hair behind her ears, she moved to grab her keys and leave.

Only she paused by his small dining table.

“Talk to Shiro.” Allura said as she turned back to him. “Tell him the truth about why you left. The  _ whole _ truth. I don’t need to know it, but he definitely does. And do it before I have to  _ make _ you do it. Because I will not hesitate to make your life a difficult living hell every day you don’t do it. Am I clear?”

Lance nodded.

He knew Allura to be very clear. 

She would do exactly as she said. Giving him a whole mix of chores and pointless work, that just  _ had _ to be done. Not to mention force Hunk and Coran into not being able to help him. While also sprinkling in as much run ins with the thing Lance was avoiding, just short of locking him in a room until he did it.

Not that Shiro would make that task too hard for her. 

Ever since the older man had arrived and recognized Lance, he wiggled his way into seeing Lance as much as he could manage. Despite all of Lance’s efforts to discourage him from doing so.

Honestly he wouldn’t be surprised if he jumped on board to help her.

“Good.” Allura grinned out looking satisfied. 

She turned to leave, only to paused again after two steps and turned back around. 

“I think this should go without saying, because you are  _ soulmates _ after all…” Allura said as she walked closer to the bed Lance was lying on. “But the saying goes ‘If you love something, let it go. If it returns then it’s meant to be’.” She hummed out smartly. “Shiro came back, and he was very happy to see you again.” She added before turning to leave. “Food for thought, darling!”

And then she was just out his door before Lance could respond.

Lance growled in frustration as he rolled into his pillow.

He started at the side of his bed that is always empty. He really can’t let it be filled without spiral into episode of pain. Part of him wondered if Shiro did the same thing, if he left the left side of the bed empty. Lance sighed heavily at the thought.

“Tomorrow.” Lance huffed.

Before he physically reached out towards the side of the bed.

And willed himself to go to sleep.

* * *

Lance sucked in a deep breath as stared at the door before him.

_ Room 110. _

A room that Lance never once found to be scary or intimidating. 

It was just an ordinary room, Lance had helped Allura set up for guests of the inn, or try to fix the temperamental thermostat with Coran. He knew it was just an ordinary room like the rest of the rooms and suites in the  _ Lion’s Castle Hotel. _

But the room didn’t usually house his soulmate.

The soulmate he  _ left _ .

Lance heavily blew out the breath he was holding. 

He knew he needed to do this, no matter how much he didn’t want to.

Mostly to avoid Allura’s torment until he did as she told him. 

But also, Allura had been right about Shiro needing to be told the truth. After about six and a half  _ years _ , Shiro deserve an explanation to why Lance left before he returned back to the city. Back to his life Lance didn’t fit in. Just at the very least. To move on so things won’t be so  _ painful _ anymore.

And it needed to be in person.

Not another letter.

Slowly Lance raised his hand to knock on the door with three solid racks against the door.

A small moment passed as there was small and slightly surprised sounding, “coming,” from inside the room. Followed by what sounds like some sort of hurried shuffling about. A few of which made Lance’s lips turn up at bit, because he knew Shiro was trying to wrestle on a suitable pair of pants.

Then the door opened and…

“Lance?!” Shiro stated in surprise as he blinked at Lance before him.

Shiro looked like he has just recently stepped out of the shower. 

A towel still draped over the top of his head, hair still a little damp because he wasn’t done rubbing it dry like a monster. Dressed in a plain light gray shirt, that was sticking to his torso in odd places. Because for some reason Shiro liked to get somewhat dressed before he was completely dry after a shower.

And the bathroom still looked a bit steamy and humid.

“I...um...you...are here.” Shiro observed dumbly. “At my room.”

Lance hummed and nodded in reply. 

Afraid of the words that might come out of his mouth.

Because he knew Shiro normally did not take showers in the evening. Not unless he was extremely dirty from something or he was stressed. A habit Lance knows he sort of half picked up from Lance. And Lance had seen Shiro briefly when he returned from wherever he went that day. He didn’t appear overly dirty. 

Which meant he had a stressful day.

And Lance was about to add onto. 

Every fiber of Lance’s body wanted to just turn around and try again later. Plead to Allura to just give him  _ one  _ more day before she started making things hard. Go again tomorrow, when things would hopefully be better.

And that  _ totally _ wouldn’t turn into a cycle.

“You’re here at my room.” Shiro repeated again with an excitement growing to him the more the fact settles in. Which Lance doesn’t understand, because Shiro should be so mad with him, he should hate him...no be happy at the simple sight of Lance. “You came to  _ see _ me!” Shiro continued, before his wave of excitement crashed into confusion. “Why?”

“I need to talk to you.” Lance said as he turned his gaze down to his hands. “About... _ stuff _ , in regards to...um…” He trailed off, but made a gesture between him and Shiro. Before he bit his lip and looked back up. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Shiro agreed hurriedly.

Hurriedly the older mam moved out of the way for the door. All with a motion for Lance to enter with a pleased smile on his face. Like Lance was some old friend arriving to a party he was throwing, or something. Not a soulmate that left him in the cold. 

It caused Lance to look away as he quickly shuffled inside.

Because Shiro should be so angry at the sight to Lance...not  _ happy. _

Room 110 was a standard double queen room, Lance had been countless times before for various reasons. He knew what it looked like, but that didn’t stop him glancing around like he never had been as Shiro closed the door behind him. Anything to not look at Shiro’s face when was so  _ undeserving _ happy, instead of angry. 

But to be fair, the room also usually didn’t have his soulmate’s stuff laying around it either.

His suit jackets were handing in the open closet door. Shoes neatly kicked off under holder his luggage was resting on. A set of clothes were laid out on the foot of the bed closest to the bathroom, ready for the next day. A mix of old towels and dirty clothes Shiro had tossed aside when he was done with him more at the head of it.

It was amazing how little Shiro seemed to have changed.

Suddenly a warm, blissful tingle started to flow through his hand and up his arm. It feels so pleasant and like home. And the jolt through the bond is felt like a long forgotten spark. Lapping at the nerves in his arms, lulling him more, and…

Lance ripped his hand out of Shiro’s hold.

“Don’t.” Lance warned sharply as he pulled hand to his chest. 

Turning to shoot Shiro a glare for the action. One the other man was only half able to have been able to resist. After all, ever since Shiro found him, Lance had been careful to put physical barriers before Shiro and him. To avoid his body overriding everything and just reaching out for the contact it so craved from the other.

The smile on Shiro’s lips fell away instantly at the action.

“Sorry,’ Shiro apologized quickly as he took a stop back from Lance. Looking down ashamed and even more like a kicked puppy. Tucking his left hand behind his back quickly. “I shouldn’t have done that. But...um...it was subconscious...I didn’t…”

“No it’s fine, I get it.” Lance returned as he looked down at the hand Shiro had taken. He rubbed at his hand with his other, as if that would work to get rid of the feeling. “I want nothing more than to do the same, honestly.” He admitted as he glanced back up at Shiro. “But I’d rather not be high-drunk on you for this conversation.” 

Shiro nodded understanding as he looked at Lance for a moment.

Then suddenly he held up his right prosthetic arm.

Lance raised a questioning eyebrow at it.

Shiro snorted a bit at the reaction, like he did when he can’t believe Lance wasn’t getting something he found to be so obvious. But then he reached out to grab Lance’s left wrist. Easily sliding his metal hand in Lance’s with such practiced ease.

“Compromise.” Shiro stated simply.

Just like Lance has done all those times when Shiro had a panic attack or flashback and was wearing his prosthetic. Because Shiro didn’t liked to be touched sometimes after them. And Lance wanted to do everything to comfort and help him.

They always had the compromise of the metal prosthetic.

“Should you still have--”

“Lance, please, I just want to hold your hand...after so long not being able to.” Shiro cut him off with an annoyed huff. “Don’t worry about how long I’ve had my prosthetic on,please. Can I just have this while we talk.”

Lance paused for a moment.

Looking at his soulmate before him, with grey eyes plead. 

He had always been weak to Shiro before they knew they were soulmates. Hell, before they even started to like date back in their senior year of college. And after so long, so much pain and hurt, of leaving him so things could be better for him…

Lance was more than weak to the request.

“Okay.” Lance agreed after a moment. “Sorry.”

Shiro didn’t say anything in return. Just spared Lance a small smile as he moved his metal fingers to squeeze Lance’s hand lightly. In a way that was a small gesture of comfort that came off more friendly than anything else. 

Lance just looked down at his shoes.

He was rather put off by how  _ not angry _ his soulmate was with him. How unbothered and excited Shiro was to see him after so long. 

Not that Lance exactly wanted Shiro yelling and screaming, making forceful demands for answers, or wanting nothing to do with Lance. Honestly, Lance was a little thankful that wasn’t the case. But he would have least understand  _ why _ .

Lance had left Shiro with nothing but a ‘Dear John’ Letter. 

Disappeared and blocked Shiro out every way he could.

Shiro should be angry and hurt. 

Lance  _ expected  _ him to be angry and hurt when he thought of Shiro finding him. Or just immediately turning tail and leaving like he never saw Lance, never knew him, never did anything. 

Lance can’t wrap his head around why Shiro was being so.... _ nice. _

“You wanted to talk?” Shiro asked gently after a good moment of silence passed over them. A cautiousness in his tone as he talked that made Lance’s heart ache just slightly.

“Yeah,” Lance said with a nod. 

“Let’s sit down then.” Shiro stated easily.

He pulled Lance deep into the room before the smaller could even thing to object. And it’s such a familiar action that it overrides the thought that standing was better for him. He could run and slip away a lot faster if things got too out of hand. Not to mention Shiro had softly pulled him down to sit on the edge of the empty bed. Shiro sitting closest to the door, in a way Lance knew is more strategic then he will let it on to be if Lance pointed it out. 

Not that Lance can really blame him.

Another silence settled on them for a few moments. 

Lance was more than willing to let it linger for a them. Savoring the moment before the truth was  _ most _ likely going to ruin anything. To have one last selfish moment of peace to remember back to when things got hard. To have the ability to say he held Shiro’s hand for a moment. And maybe some of it was to gather his thoughts and courage one last time, as he looked down at Shiro’s metal fingers in his own.

Shiro was kind enough to let Lance have it.

He wiggles the fingers of his prosthetic slightly. Like he used to when he would hold Nadia’s or Sylvio’s hand when they were looking at it. Or whenever Lance was examining the craftsmanship. All for a laugh of course. 

And it doesn’t fail to earn a small smile from lance.

“Have you told anyone you found me again?” Lance asked softly, as he looked up at Shiro, before the silence stretched on too long.

“No,” Shiro said simply with a shack of his head. “Probably, against some better judgement somewhere. But I really don’t think you wanted Keith flying here just to punch you in the face and kick you in the stomach Or for Katie to come and um...taze your balls off.”

Lance blanched at the statement.

Yeah, he really would prefer for that  _ not _ to happen at all. 

Even if there is a part of him that knows he probably deserves at the very least the punch from Keith. Lance hurt Shiro, and Shiro was very close with Keith, it was just natural that Keith would be  _ pissed off _ at him. But Lance still didn’t want to experience it one little bit if it could be avoided. Especially if Keith was tired and fed up from flying there just to punch him in the face.

“As far as everyone is concerned, I’m just on a business trip.” Shiro continued easily. “Don’t worry.” Gently he rubbed his metal thumb over Lance’s. “It’s just us that know.”

“Us and everyone in this town…” Lance corrected weakly.

Shiro hummed with an awkward sort of nod.

No doubt remember every once of unwelcomeness they had thrown his way. The whispers that had been hissed, much to Lance’s slight pleas to just not gossip rumors about Shiro. All because of lies Shiro didn’t know Lance had told him.

“Sorry, everyone’s been dicks to you the whole time.” Lance apologized before Shiro could say anything. “Small town words gets around quick. And I told them you were the one that left. It was...um...easier than the truth of what happened. I um...” Lance paused for a moment and looked down, “need some friends and support.”

“Oh,” Shiro said with a small nod. He was quiet for a moment, waiting for Lance’s attention to turn back to him, before he added, “They are good friend, Lance.”

Lance nodded.

Allura, Hunk, and Coran were indeed  _ good _ friends. None of them had turned they back on Lance after finding out the truth about his lies. Lance hadn’t doubted that Allura had informed Hunk and Coran about it after he told her. He was happy to see that they still accepted him despite it. All along the similar lines Allura had stated the night before. 

Lance usually acted with good intentions in mind.

Even if it was the wrong choice, Lance wouldn’t have made if he didn’t think it was for the better. And he did after all, still act like someone so very in love with their soulmate despite the world fall apart, rather than someone what the left their soulmate.

Lance wanted to agree.

He wanted to thank Shiro for saying so.

He wanted to keep the conversation nice.

But...

“Why are you being so nice?” Lance asked suddenly. 

Shiro made a sound of surprise at the sudden turn in their conversation. Raising an eyebrow as he look at Lance so confused. Like he didn’t know what Lance could mean by the question.

“You should be angry and hate my guts for leaving you like I did.” Lance stated firmly. 

He tried to pull is hand out of Shiro’s prosthetic, but the other tightened his grip. Just enough to stop Lance at the feeling, but something Lance could more than slip out of if he choose to. But he didn’t, instead he turned away with a sharp huff.

“Not happy and excited to see me.” Lance continued in a weak voice.

Shiro hummed beside him after a second or two. “Yeah, according to a lot of people, I  _ should be _ , and for a while I was.” Shiro admitted gently. Almost like the truth of the words would scare Lance away forever. He paused for a second, before continuing. “Maybe a part of me still is, but it’s not really about you leaving. And it’s largely drowned out by the fact that I know you wouldn’t leave like you did…unless…unless…”

Lance turned to look at his soulmate as he trailed off.

He was meet with saddened expressions on Shiro’s face. 

Hurt and kicked puppy in the rain, mixed with painful goodbyes from dramatic movies, but like ten times worse. The greys of his eyes were deep and heavy, like an oncoming rainstorm. 

Shiro looked like he wanted to reach out and touch Lance. Sort a hair back into place like he did whenever they use to have hard conversations in the past. Yet knew that was a bad idea so he was trying to choke the urge.

Lance knew it all too well.

He wanted to do the same.

“Unless something drove you away.” Shiro stated with a heavy breath from his lips. A weak sort of smile graced just the corners of his lips slightly. “I don’t know what it was, not really. But if it was me. Lance, please, I’m so sorry. I apologize for everything and I’ll work on whatever you want, I’ll change.” Shiro started hurriedly with an edge of desperation creeping in. “I’ll change however you need, just...just please come back to me. Please.”

Lance felt his eyes go wide at what was happening.

Only able to sort of stare in shock.

Sitting there frozen as he mind worked to process what was happening. 

Feeling Shiro’s desperation seem to raise and grow through the bond, as he started to spiral on and on. Saying how for six and a half years he tried to think about what could have driven Lance away from him. Tried to pinpoint what had been wrong so he could fix it, or knew where to make better efforts because they had been so  _ fine _ before Lance left. He was mad Lance didn’t try to communicate something being wrong, so they work to fix it...but maybe that  _ had _ been the problem.

Shiro just wanted Lance back. 

He would change or do anything, he didn’t care. 

He just wanted Lance to come back home, please.

And just... _ what?! _

“It wasn’t because of you!” Lance declared loudly. 

He reached out to touch Shiro’s knee, and have a small yank at his prosthetic to make him stop. Which worked, much to Lance’s realization. He doesn’t even care that his hand is slightly buzzing with how close Shiro’s skin was, and how warm and there he was.

“I didn’t leave because of anything you did or didn’t do Takashi.” Lance admitted in a quieter tone. But it’s stayed firm, and it would stay firm till he could feel Shiro start to believe him. “I left because of  _ me _ , okay.” He said as he looked down at the hand on Shiro’s knee. “It honestly, wasn’t you, it was all me and my  _ crap _ . Or mostly me...sort of...maybe...I think.”

“You think?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Please, try to explain.” Shiro said in a firm voice.

Not firm enough to be a complete demand, but give Lance much room for getting out.

Lance nodded slowly. 

Taking his hand away from Shiro’s knee as he did so and putting it back on his lap. Shiro guides the hand he was holding in his prosthetic there to, letting the weight of the metal act like an anchor for Lance. No doubt feeling the inner turmoil that Lance was feeling. 

Lance turned to look at the TV on the stand against the wall parallel to them.

He sucked in a deep breath.

Because Allura was right, Shiro did deserve the whole truth.

And even if Lance was too sure exactly where most of the blame had started to blurry together with guilt and pain after so many years. Lance wasn’t sure what was what. But he was clear on the event the let up to things. He knew what he did very well.

“What do you know about what happened?” Lance asked as he turned back to Shiro.

“Not much more than what your letter said.” Shiro answered simply, before he looked away. “You left because for the reasons you had, and you wished me all the best in life to come. And that I shouldn’t try to find you, but...I did still look anyway.”

Lance nodded.

He more than knew Shiro looked despite Lance’s requests not to. He could feel it all through the bond, all the screams and pleas, and painful slams to just feel something from Lance. The frustration at every dead end he found. Yet he didn’t say anything, because that would just make things worse, because it meant he had decided not to answer back.

“Honerva and my department manager at the time, told me you came to them with something trying to get money. That the whole time I’ve been working there, you had just been looking for ways to get money from them, before finding something that worked.” Shiro admitted softly as he ran his thumb over Lance’s thumb. “I never really believed it. They never told me what it was or let me really looked at the documents they had. Claimed it would be too emotionally distressing for me at the time.” He paused for a moment, before squeezing Lance’s hand. “And because I knew you would never  _ do _ that.”

Shiro smiled at him, like he just knew.

“But I did.” Lance stated after a moment. 

He watched Shiro’s smile fall away. 

Disappear into a confused look. Like he didn’t really understand. Couldn’t even figure out how that was even possible in the world for Lance to do so.

“Well... _ sort of. _ ” Lance clarified hurriedly. “I didn’t blackmail them or whatever they implied...but I took the money someone from your company offered me to leave.”

“You...what?” Shiro asked.

Lance let out a heavy sigh as he turned to look at his feet. He slid his hand out of Shiro’s prosthetic. It had gone slack from the shock of the statement. And Lance quickly grasped his hand with his other free one in his lap.

“I did take that money from them to basically leave and start a life somewhere else.” Lance answered more clearly. “It wasn’t the first time someone from your company had sort of offered something like that to me. They had done it a few times before, a few different people, and it was drastically  _ less than _ the first time. But it was the first time I agreed to it. I’m sorry, but they…

“I don’t know, said something that hit me.” Lance continued shakily. His vision started to blur in the corners. “Maybe it was always hitting me, but it just really sunk in that time. I don’t deserve you Shiro. Never have, never will. I held you back. Ever since you met me, I’ve always just kept you back from reaching something you wanted. All the bouncing around from job to job trying to find something that would click stopped us from doing some much. And I would always do that if I stayed with you. 

“You know it was only a matter of time before the stress got to you and work and you’d lose the job you had.” Lance stated as he moved to hug himself a little bit. He tried to blink away the tears that were forming. But it doesn’t work. He hates having to admit these things to Shiro. “It would just be better if I left, so you could soar so high. You’d be better off if I left. I mean look, you already Vice President of your department, rather than some lowly desk person when you were with me in some mediocre apartment.” Lance huffed out a laugh as he looked away from Shiro. Towards the window of his hotel room. “God I hate that they were right.

“So, yeah, I took the money they offered me. Just to have something to start over with, so I didn’t have to take from you.” Lance admitted with a loud badly hidden sniffle at the end. “And signed some dumb agreement to not contact you physically or through our soul bond, and they’d offer you the promotions you were in line for or something. I forgot exactly what it was for. But then again I’ve shifted the blame around so many times to rationalize stuff, that it’s all sort of blurred together.” Lance continued, as he turned back to look at Shiro. 

Who was just staring at him. 

Blankly.

For once not happy, excited, or confusedly hurt.

And Lance…

_ Despised  _ it.

It hurt to see. 

Even though Lance knew deep down he deserved it. He deserved Shiro hating him and being mad. Deserved to be told to leave and never be seen by Shiro again. And he should be happy, because maybe Shiro would try to move on with his life without Lance.

But the sight just filled Lance with so much dread.

Lance let out a breath of a sob as he felt the tears start to fall anyway. “I just know that  _ I _ left, and _ I  _ hurt you. I was trying to do the right thing so you have a better life. All that fault lies with me...and I am sorry.” Lance continued shakily. “I can’t apologize enough, and I know it won’t fix things or make them better, but its all I can think to say. I’m  _ sorry _ , Shiro.”

A heavy silence fell over the room.

Only interrupted by the shake breath Lance keep sucking in.

Lance just looked to Shiro desperately.

Part of him didn’t want Shiro to say anything. Because then Lance could still technically see him again if he was never told to get out. He could still hold on to the lie that Shiro didn’t hate him, and things could be okay.

Yet another part of Lance wanted Shiro to say  _ something _ . So the whole thing could be put to bed, and Lance could maybe for once actually start to settle. It would hurt, but eventually the bond would fade for lack of use. And things would drift apart until things were just a past whisper.

After a few moments of nothing, Lance hurriedly reach up to wipe his tears. 

“Well, now, you know why.” Lance stated quickly as he turned away from Shiro to get up from the bed. “That’s why I came here, so I’ll go, and you won’t have to se--”

A warm pleasurable feeling coursed through Lance’s arm.

The feeling of it cutting off his words with a strangled breath.

God it felt amazing.

Then touch of cold metal reached Lance’s cheek. Moving to shift the tears on a different path down Lance’s face. Before the feeling of more metal started to collect around his cheek, cupping around it gently.

“Shiro?” Lance asked.

But Shiro hushed him gently. 

Drawing a lazy pattern with his left index finger against Lance’s skin. And the feeling spreading through him was like become  _ whole _ again. Lance didn’t want to pull away.

“They were wrong, Lance.” Shiro said suddenly. 

“Wha…?”

“I didn’t soar without you, Lance.” Shiro said as he looked at Lance with the softest sort of expression on his face before he reached up to cup Lance’s right cheek with his flesh hand. Grinning slightly at the way Lance leaned into the feeling. “It was more like a dredging the ocean floor while life happened around me. 

“Nothing mattered.” Shiro continued turned Lance’s face to look at him more. “None of the promotions, or events, or things I could buy mattered. Because you weren’t there beside me.” Shiro admitted as he pushed some hair behind Lance’s ear. “The desk job and not so great apartments and cars were enough with you there.”

“Shiro....” Lance started weakly.

“It’s true.” Shiro returned quickly.

“Why are you telling me that, you should be…”

“I am angry.” Shiro admitted in to soft and gentle of a voice. Leaning forward into Lance’s space just a little it. It almost felt dizzy intoxicating in the most wonderful way. “But not at you, Lance. Never at you.”

“But I left you.” 

“When you agreed to leave, did you think I was going to lose my job if you rejected the offer someone from my company offered?” Shiro asked as a quick counter to the point.

Lance was silent for a moment.

Remembering back to the moment at some party. 

The words that were whispered out in a hiss.

He had feared Shiro would lose the job he had. The job he worked hard in school to get, and generally sort of liked beyond just being employed. Lance was not as blind to subtleties as people thought him to be. 

The threat was plain and conversational. 

Something that sounded like a convenient out, and general meaningless statement if heat came. But Lance was aware enough to see it for what it was truly meant to be.

“Yes.” Lance answered.

“Then I can’t be mad at you for something the company I worked for cornered you into doing.” Shiro said with a smile as he pushed more tears aside with his thumbs. Looking at Lance like he was the most perfect thing in the world. “I know that way Honerva likes to speak when she gives manipulative talks. But that’s for later.”

“I…”

Because  _ how  _ did Shiro know it was  _ her. _

Shiro hushed Lance lightly.

Leaning forward to rest his forehead against Lance’s. 

It feels like a buzzing sort of firework sensation at the touch of skin. Showering Lance’s body in lovely tingling sparks. He nuzzles into it without thinking, but does nothing to stop once he realized what he was doing/. His body had craved the feeling of Shiro’s for so long, it was amazing to have it again. Lance didn’t want to stop just yet.

“And how could my soulmate not deserve me?” Shiro asked with a sort of humming chuckly. There wasn’t much humor in the sound, rather a seriousness that was trying to brighten things. “Tell me, how that is possible. The universe and fates made you pretty specifically for me, Lance. Really give me a  _ good _ reason why you, someone designed for me, doesn’t deserve to be in my life.”

Lance sucked in a sharp breath that shock his whole body.

He didn’t remember when he started to cry...like really  _ really _ cry.

But just…

Shiro…

Lance didn’t have an answer. 

And he knew a reasonable one didn’t exactly exist in their situation.

“We’re a complicated soul puzzle.” Shiro said lightly, as he leaned more into Lance so their noses were touching. “That’s what you use to tell me.”

“It was.” Lance admit as he let his eyes drip close.

So much for not getting drunk and high of Shiro.

“It doesn’t matter how or why we fit together. Just that we do, and we love each other. And that is all the world needs to know.” Shiro continued so expertly. 

Something that didn’t surprise Lance, it was something Lance would tell him when his doubts would creep in. Or when a nightmare hit too hard or too close to home for Shiro’s liking. Because the fact that they were soulmates use to curb so  _ many _ doubts back all those years ago. It was just something they could count on to just kind of senselessly make sense to each of them no matter what happened.

Lance lost that somewhere down the line.

He could remember where.

And, lord, he was such  _ an idiot _ .

Because every cell in his body knew Shiro really truly meant everything he was say.

“I am sorry I left.” Lance blurted out in burst of a sob.

“It’s okay,” Shiro said so warmly against Lance. The feeling of a smile curly on his lips as he nuzzled and tilted Lance’s head just so. Something Lance just let him do, because of course he was weak to it. “Just come back to me.”

And Lance did.

Humming at the warmth that poured over him at the touch of Shiro’s lips. The sparks and tinkles and buzzes racing all through him like the floodgates opened up. It was like coming home after a long trip, or a hot cup of tea on a cold day. Merging and mixing back to a sort of wholeness again, that Lance half forgot.

“We should...maybe talk more.” Lance tried to reason as he pulled away for a breath.

“Later.” Shiro returned heavily. “Later. Now let’s just--” 

Lance dove to rejoin their lips with an agreeing hum.

He felt himself fall back on the bed with Shiro.

Not that he cared.

Shiro was wrapped around him physically and mentally.

And that was all that mattered to Lance at the moment.

Because after so long, everything felt right again.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sort of takes place at the at the beginning of the end of the idea. (Cause its long). So here is some quick background.  
Shiro and Lance meet in College, both were like sophomores at the time. Shiro started later because he joined the arm forces and was honorarily discharged after a few years. So he just went to college. They started dating around Senior year, and moved in together after graduating. Some months later their soul bond formed and they realized they were soulmates. Shiro got his job at the company he worked for, and Lance was bouncing around trying to figure out where he fit. Because of this Shiro's company didn't really like Lance, he didn't fit the company's "Image", among other things. Yet, he was Shiro's soulmate, and there are a lot of rules and laws around soulmates for people to follow, but they were shady and didn't care (read as done it before). So over the course of like a year and half, the slowly manipulated and forced Lance into leaving, and paid him off. Lance left and drove pretty far away in a pained fog, before he arrived at Allura's little inn that is some little town in the middle of no where, and meet Allura, Coran, and Hunk. He then stayed around and started working at the inn as a sort of manager of both the inn's and attached restaurant's business, because he's good with people and he just really fit the job so everyone else could do their own stuff within the inn's needs. Shiro was a mess after Lance left, and did try to find him, before sort of giving up and just going through life has best he can. Until he ran into Lance on a business trip six and half years later.
> 
> So yeah. And after things, Shiro does quit his job at the company, and together they sue the company (and after a long court battle) win the case and get a nice big settlement agreement. Shiro moves in with Lance and the inn, and starts up his own business for in the area, and they live happily ever after.
> 
> Also I didn't mention it, because I couldn't fit it in, but finding a soulmate isn't a common thing. It happens to a small percentage of people, and it's pretty 50/50 friendship and romantic relations. Media plays up the ratio to be more on the romantic side. And there is a small percentage of group where soulmates don't work out. For all types of reasons ranging form compatibility issues to abusive relationships.
> 
> I did like how this fic turned out...even if there is something about the flow that doesn't sit too well me. It was the way the story naturally unfolded in writing and I can't see how to fix it. I might want to do a part where Shiro comes and first runs into Lance. But I don't know.
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
